Who?

Ok, new mommy diaries rule: I no longer vow to post every week. Obviously. I now post whenever I feel inspired, or uninspired as it may be (see below).

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When I became a first-time mother at the ripe age of 20 and 1 month, I promised myself that I would never let myself go. I would always be in style, always be looking my best, and always be that hot mom (or "MILF" if you will). When I had my daughter, all of the aforementioned things were easy. I was a single mother and dating, so looking nice whenever I left the house was not even an option for me. You never knew when Mr. Right was at the grocery store or gas station - not to mention that being one hot mama helped to keep those men from running down the streets screaming once they caught a glimpse of my car seat-laden backseat. I also had age going for me. I felt like I bounced right back after my first and was better looking than ever. I had a few stretch marks gracing my formerly bony frame, but very few at that and I had seemed to gain weight in all the right places. A little in my ass, about an ounce in my boobs (I'll take what I can get) and none anywhere else. I was that mom walking around in my (probably too) tight jeans and my little tiny t-shirt with people constantly commenting on how great I looked and how there was no way I had a baby with "a body like that". I gotta tell ya, I never got tired of hearing that. You know that "don't know what you got till it's gone" song? Well I'll tell you what this mommy didn't know that she had till it was gone - her damn hot body. Come home, nice body - Mommy misses you.

Remember that part about not letting myself go? Well this is that part where I did. Four years after baby #1 came baby #2 and there was also a marriage in there. And let me tell you something, folks, if you're trying to be super hot (who am I kidding, I'd settle for mediocre hot), there's no easier way to ruin a perfectly nice body than to pop out another little ankle biter and starting eating real food everyday (damn Rachel Ray and her easy meals). I am 25 and have aged nearly 10 years in the past 3, and the worst part is, I'm not even close to being "that hot mom" any more. I'm not even "that nice looking" mom. I'm "that disheveled, stressed out, bags under her eyes, eats whatever is lying around, like I have time to iron my own clothes or do anything that involves myself" mom... and it shows.

The saddest part is I really don't know where I went astray. Sure, I've gained weight, but what about the other things? I love clothes, I love makeup, I love doing my hair, I absolutely adore being a girl and rarely leave the house in the morning taking more than 10 minutes (literally) to get myself ready. It takes me longer than that to get my 18 month old ready. It's now that I realize - I am a sad, sad woman.

So what do I do? Get up an hour earlier just so I can put some lipstick on and curl my hair, even though we all know it will be flat in 10 minutes anyway? How's this - Tomorrow I'm going to try to get up 5 minutes earlier and get Jericho dressed more quickly. If I can dress him in 5 minutes, that gives me an extra 10 minutes total to spend on myself in the morning. So maybe tomorrow I'll be "that less disheveled, slightly relaxed, still has bags under her eyes, drinking a second cup of coffee because she got up 5 minutes earlier, wearing lip gloss" mom. Hey, it's a start.