Say whaaaaaaaat?

As a mommy, you frequently find yourself saying things you never thought you'd say - either because you hated when your own parents said them... or because they just don't make any sense.
Here is a list of my favorites that have come out of my own mouth:

"Jericho - we don't headbutt our mommy."

"Please don't feed your animal crackers to the cats."

"Because I'm your mommy... and I know everything."

"Who took all of the wipes out of the container one-by-one?"

"Jericho, please stop eating that soap."

"I'm so sorry my son smeared poop on your carpet."

"Buddy - mommy needs you out of the oven, please..."

"Joci, mommy really needs for your to please stop cutting your own hair."

"Jericho - DO NOT BITE THAT CAT AGAIN. I mean it this time."

"Is this your daughter?... I apologize. My son seems to have knocked her down and stolen her juice box."

"Yes, I can talk to my daugher about chasing your son around at recess. ... I understand she made him cry. ... It won't happen again."

"I understand mommy sings a lot in the car, but I assure you, I'm NOT Hannah Montana."