A real mommy's guide to Mother's Day gift-giving

In a day stuffed to the brim with cards, candy, flowers and jewelery, here's my list of what this mommy really wants this year for Mother's Day. (Though for the record, you can't go wrong with jewelery.) No crap, no sugar-coating, no "oh, I don't need anything"s. Please note that this list is me-specific and you may want to change-up your list to fit the mommy in your life.

1. I want to sleep until 10 without the kids waking me up. Change that - I want to sleep until 10 without anything waking me up. And when I do wake up, I want for the kids to be dressed and fed.
2. I want to go to IHOP for breakfast. *Stipulation* - there has to be no line at IHOP.
3. I want to go shopping - BY MYSELF.
4. Just one year, I want for everyone in my life to remember that it's Mother's Day and make a huge deal out of it... and me.
5. I want to watch girly crap on TV all day. And I mean crap with a capital "c". On that list: Jon & Kate Plus 8, What Not to Wear, any movie on Lifetime, and any movie that I've seen more than 5 times - Fever Pitch, Never Been Kissed or Mr. Deeds, any of those will do.
6. I want to get my hair done even if "done" only means that I get it cut. Really I just want to get it washed. Is there anything better than when they shampoo your hair? This mommy thinks not.
7. I want this to be the one day that my dog doesn't crap on the floor.
8. I want to have enough energy to play with both of my kids, individually, and not feel like I'm 65 by the time I'm done.
9. I want for the Magic Laundry Fairies to come.
10. I want one day free of tantrums, crying, teething, "I don't want to eat that"s, and really anything that takes me out of a perfect state of euphoria.
11. I want to wear my favorite grey sweats all day and still have my husband tell me that I'm absolutely beautiful.